I've been here for about two months and I feel as if I've become older than ever before in any period of time. Realizations and seeing through people's motives. And all it took was two months of forced solitude, which grew into a cry for solitude. Maybe now is the time to read Gabriel García Márquez's "One Hundred Years of Solitude" once again. Maybe, just maybe now I will see, what it's all about.
I've learned that saying "no" is the most important lesson in life - when and who to say it to. It will make you see that those who use you for their own wellbeing are the ones who take the most time to leave and find most clever excuses why not to.
The power of solitude is endless. Just recently I was watching this reality show called "A vacation in Mexico" and a guy was in front of a decision wether to choose a life with his loved one or success beyond this world, but in solitude. Of course he chose his girl and I'm happy he did, but total success is easier to achieve alone, it takes a lot of concentration.
I am at a crossroad, from one side I want to fall in love and all the fireworks, but on the other hand I am determined that I must achieve something bigger. I must do something really important and what if I can only do it alone, not having anyone to hold me down when I'm about to take off to a higher ground. I need love to function, but despair and loneliness make me prosper.
Perhaps I'm having these mixed feelings, because I must rise my standards. I need someone who would strive for the same success, who has the same hunger for life and who would appreciate the little things and would know when to be humble and when to be a shark. My friends were right, they gave me a standard, which I must not lower. Even if this was a joke, it has tremendous truth within. Never lower a standard of what you deserve.
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