Dinner for one

Ever since I started flying solo again, I kind of stopped eating. It was great for my figure, but not that great for my health. To be honest, I have never known how to eat alone, all by myself. So I learned little by little, to eat again. I lost a huge amount of weight at first, I lost my appetite, ate only noodles, but I also understood that it had to change, because I had no energy to get out of bed even.
So I started researching, what food to eat to get the most of it. As a result, I fell in love with avocado. Before, my hair was dry, my nails broke all the time and then I started eating the right kind of nutrients, a lot of good fat that avocado contains. I eat it almost every day. Did you know that you can use it in salty and sweet food? Avocado and chocolate pudding is one of the best things - not too sweet and very creamy.
Another thing that I found out that one pack of spaghetti lasts for four days. I never thought about quantity before, when cooking, because it has always been better if there's more of whatever I'm cooking. Now I only cook for one and the amounts are really small.
Also popcorn tastes way better, when it is made on a pan. This I discovered, because I just don't have a microwave, and don't miss having one. And I do enjoy seeing them pop.
I also replaced chips with popcorn and nuts, and started eating apples again, because they are cheap and contain a lot of vitamins. As they say - an apple a day keeps the doctor away!
I often think that this eating thing is not nuclear science, but where were my brains when I was in a relationship? I mean chips and beer every other night was never a good choice. I guess it's the comfort zone and adapting with another person's eating habits, but that is not an excuse.
There is a store called Umami here in Tartu and I'm dying to go there. If you look it up, it has so many interesting ingredients, asian food, spices, for example, did you know that black garlic exists or how does smoked salt taste like? Awesome.
About places to go out to eat, I have been to Päris Pariis and that chef's special is a great choice - your pancake is soaked in Cointreau and set on fire, tastes like caramelized orange. Sushi places are not the best in here. Cafe Crepe is also not my favorite, the portion is just huge and doesn't taste so good. Tibetan restaurant Himaalaja jutud is not a bad place, portions are meant for two, but the interior is disappointing. Fast food places in the other hand are great, sandwich cafe Metro is great, because you can choose everything that goes in and Fasters food is just delicious, especially in 4 in the morning. My absolutely favorite cafe in Tartu is called Armastus, which means love and for a good reason, you will leave the place feeling loved and that's what great service is all about.

Movie talk - "The Fencer"

For the first time, I visited Tartu Elektriteater. It reminded me of Von Krahl in Tallinn a bit. The best thing about this visit was, that two leading actors came to answer questions after the movie. Even I asked one. Let me tell you, following story is full of spoilers, so stop reading, go see it and come back to discuss it with me.
The movie was based on true characters with some modifications, because it was not a documentary, but not all was made up. What I learned was that fencing is a thing in Haapsalu, I mean, who knew about this? Another thing that was said - amazing child actors do exist, right here in Estonia.
About the movie, it made me cry on so many levels, I mean, yes I'm an emotional person, but the story was touching. A man who fled from war, changed his name, left his career as a fencer and risked his life, because he didn't want to let his students down. A person who didn't even know how to interact with children, but they trusted him and they stole his heart. Leading actor Märt Avandi, said that children appreciate honesty and they can feel it, if you are trying to trick them. I think that if it comes to children, I become especially sensitive, maybe that's why all my sparkly eye liner was all over my cheeks by the end of the movie. I can also say that the story has a relatively happy end, so don't worry, it is suitable for a younger audience.
I really really really liked this movie. It is just long enough, camera work and finishing touches are really good, the story itself is interesting, characters are lovable, a bit of humor and a lot of seriousness, plus great acting makes you lose yourself in the story and find yourself again, cheering along for the children and maybe, just maybe you can see the story through a child's eyes, for whom everything is new and exciting.
Hope you give it a chance to let it touch your soul as much as it touched mine, I hope you form an opinion strong enough to tell me about it.

Start again

New beginning in Tartu - an end in Tallinn…
I've been here for about two months and I feel as if I've become older than ever before in any period of time. Realizations and seeing through people's motives. And all it took was two months of forced solitude, which grew into a cry for solitude. Maybe now is the time to read Gabriel García Márquez's "One Hundred Years of Solitude" once again. Maybe, just maybe now I will see, what it's all about.
I've learned that saying "no" is the most important lesson in life - when and who to say it to. It will make you see that those who use you for their own wellbeing are the ones who take the most time to leave and find most clever excuses why not to.

The power of solitude is endless. Just recently I was watching this reality show called "A vacation in Mexico" and a guy was in front of a decision wether to choose a life with his loved one or success beyond this world, but in solitude. Of course he chose his girl and I'm happy he did, but total success is easier to achieve alone, it takes a lot of concentration. 

I am at a crossroad, from one side I want to fall in love and all the fireworks, but on the other hand I am determined that I must achieve something bigger. I must do something really important and what if I can only do it alone, not having anyone to hold me down when I'm about to take off to a higher ground. I need love to function, but despair and loneliness make me prosper. 

Perhaps I'm having these mixed feelings, because I must rise my standards. I need someone who would strive for the same success, who has the same hunger for life and who would appreciate the little things and would know when to be humble and when to be a shark. My friends were right, they gave me a standard, which I must not lower. Even if this was a joke, it has tremendous truth within. Never lower a standard of what you deserve.